In all my years blogging about credit cards, I thought Iโd seen every dirty trick that banks can pullโ retroactive changes to T&Cs, bait-and-switch gifts, overnight fee hikes, and other shenanigans.
But whatโs happening with the Maybank Manchester United Card is simply unprecedented.
That feeling when you miss out on 3% cashback and 2 mpd
This has been a record-breaking season for Manchester United, to say the least. The fewest points of any Premier League campaign, the most defeats (including eight home losses, the most since 1962/63), and โ almost certainly โ the lowest-ever finish.
But it wasnโt until Sunday that the final domino toppled. With the 0-1 defeat to Wolves (their first-ever loss on an Easter Sunday, and a reminder that resurrection is best left to the professionals), Ruben Amorimโs men can now win a maximum of 15 games this season, the fewest ever in the history of the Maybank Manchester United Card.
In the inevitable post-mortem, plenty of armchair managers will pin the blame on Amorimโs assiduous insistence on 3-4-2-1, or the hapless antics of Andre Onana, or the terminal onset of goal-related allergies for Rasmus Hojlund, or the chronic lack of investment by club ownership.
Theyโre all wrong.
These are just the symptoms, not the cause. Occamโs Razor says that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one, and the simplest explanation here is that Maybank is quietly nerfing the performance of Manchester United.
The Maybank Manchester United Card conspiracy
For the uninitiated, the Maybank Manchester United Card normally offers 1% cashback and 1X TREATS point (0.4 mpd) per S$1. But on days when Manchester United win a Premier League match, the reward is boosted to 3% cashback and 5X TREATS points (2 mpd) per S$1.
It doesnโt take a tactical genius (come back David Moyes, all is forgiven) to see that a Manchester United win can be very expensive for the bank.
And indeed it was. In the inaugural season of the Maybank Manchester United Card, the Red Devils swept to the title with an astounding 28 wins out of 38 games. 28 daysโ worth of 3% cashback and 2 mpd? Even Carlos Tevez would sign up!
Clearly, this was unsustainable. So how do you keep rewards costs under control? You could nerf the earn rates, but that would be too obvious, and all those prissy little credit card bloggers would be up in arms.
Besides, thereโs a much simpler solution: nerf Manchester Unitedโs performance.
A crazy conspiracy theory, you say? Just look at this irrefutable data.
| โฝ Manchester United EPL Performance (since launch of Maybank Man Utd Card) |
||
| Season | Win/Total % | Manager |
| 2012/13 | 28/38 74% | Alex Ferguson |
| 2013/14 | 19/38 50% | David Moyes |
| 2014/15 | 20/38 53% | Louis van Gaal |
| 2015/16 | 19/38 50% | Louis van Gaal |
| 2016/17 | 18/38 47% | Jose Mourinho |
| 2017/18 | 25/38 66% | Jose Mourinho |
| 2018/19 | 19/38 50% | Jose Mourinho / Ole Gunnar Solskjaer |
| 2019/20 | 18/38 47% | Ole Gunnar Solskjaer |
| 2020/21 | 21/38 55% | Ole Gunnar Solskjaer |
| 2021/22 | 16/38 42% | Ole Gunnar Solskjaer/ Ralf Rangnick |
| 2022/23 | 23/38 61% | Erik ten Hag |
| 2023/24 | 18/38 47% | Erik ten Hag |
| 2024/25 | 10/38 26% | Inanimate Carbon Rod |
The conclusion is inescapable: Manchester Unitedโs performance has tanked ever since the launch of the Maybank Manchester United Card.
There has never been a return to the highs of 2012/13. As soon as the season was over, the card got the hairdryer treatment with a 30% devaluation that cut the number of bonus days to just 19. Coincidence?!?!?!?! I think not!
Oh sure, there was the odd season where they tuned up the performance to throw cardholders a bone (thanks, Jose!), but those were the exception rather than the rule. The overall trend is unmistakably downwards, and this season, theyโve gone too far!
Worst of all, Maybank has not provided any advance notice of these devaluations. I donโt know about you, but I sure would have appreciated a heads-up about Angel Di Maria, Paul Pogba and wunderkind Jadon Sancho. It would have been nice to know about the planned 7-0 capitulation to Liverpool, or the 1-6 drubbing by Tottenham (thanks, Jose!), or the myriad other catastrophes that have so ruined a Maybank Manchester United Cardholderโs evening.
If anything, the immoral and unscrupulous mainstream media have been guilty of hyping up Manchester United this season, filling cardholdersโ heads with false hope of endless credit card rewards.
The Guardian tipped them for 5th place, as did a collection of feckless BBC pundits and the venerable New York Times (because who understands soccerball better than Americans?) Ruben Amorim, who is no doubt in on the whole conspiracy because no one could be that tactically inept in real life, said โWhen everyone is available, weโre competing for top-4.โ And of course you have corrupt bloggers who are paid to wax lyrical about this card every season, as if itโs the best thing since Kleberson.
So to Maybank I say: the jig is up. We know what youโre doing. Stop making Diogo Dalot miss open goals, and putting grease on Andre Onanaโs gloves, and making it cold and wet so Alejandro Garnacho canโt play.
Conclusion
Iโve kept quiet so far about the seemingly inexorable decline of the Maybank Manchester United Card, ever since its flash in the pan first season.
But 2024/25 is simply the last straw. Cardholders have had a mere 10 matchdays to enjoy 2 mpd and 3% cashback, and itโs poor form to devalue such a flagship product without any notice. If prompt rectification action is not taken soon, I am seriously considering filing a report with the relevant regulators, and also complaining in the Facebook comments section.
If itโs any consolation, the EFL Championship has a total of 46 match days, so maybe thereโll be more opportunities to enjoy bonuses in the near future?
Omg how can you blame the bank for this!! So disappointed in the article.
hilarious
This was a tap-in open goal but yet you still managed to miss it
Careful of backlash from bank n.club for what the article is suggestion
Satire is lost on this generation
There is satire, and there is misrepresentation. This blog is read by thousands for Aaronโs (mostly) insightful analysis of various products. Sure, there is usually a humorous element in his posts. But this is always done without detracting from the basic premise of the blog โ to provide useful information. This post, however, goes beyond that. There is the clickbait title. There is the lack of any indication that the article is not meant to be taken seriously. There is zero useful/interesting information whatsoever for a miles chaser. As a reader, I was genuinely curious to see what outrageous thingโฆ Read more ยป
Couldnโt agree more!
Jokes on you for needing to read halfway before knowing that itโs a joke
The biggest joke here is Aaron himself. Unfunny, cringey, and irrelevant. Most of us only care about what he summarizes for us, and really canโt be bothered with his boring excuses for satire and wince-worthy references.
Iโd just like to come out and say that I appreciate Aaronโs peppering of humour into what could be quite a dry topic
โMost of usโ โ you did a survey?
Canโt blame him. It was a slow article day, and he needed to generate eyeballs for the ads plastered on the site. Good thing I use an ad blocker.
It may be a joke and it may be his website, but how do you stay professional and trustworthy when you pull off a stunt like this? Heโll need to decide quickly if he wants to be taken seriously or become a comedian. Anymore of these stinkers and hell probably lose a big chunk of his audience.
Big Baby Joel ๐ฆ
I would suggest for those who canโt stomach this article โ donโt fly Qantas or BA, you wonโt be able to handle the sort of hilarious sarcasm they brand as friendly service. I mean, they arenโt gna say โJust being sarcastic hereโฆโ before delivering that killer line so steer clear and stick to the sterile service SQ provides.
Having said that, I kinda agree a disclaimer at the start of this article wouldโve just helped to avoid conflict.
Oh no, you whining git. Can you ask for a refund of the subscription fees you paid?
I am also disappointed in you.
I wish there was a F1 Forza Ferrari card somewhere so that I can share in the credit card devaluation disappointment too
Looking at the comments, Iโm scared of what the reception of A Modest Proposal would have been if it were published today.
Iโm more concerned that these people are able to vote
I love kids; I just couldnโt finish an entire one.
Hilarious ๐
๐ ๐ ๐
even the โbumped-upโ reward rates on win days are so dismalโฆ only a true-blue Man U fan would apply for this cardโฆ
Youโll Never Whine Alone
Since you mention โwin a premier league matchโ, that means european competitions wins and EFL championship wins donโt count?
Not for the Maybank Man U Card, according to T&Cs. (One wonders what would happen to the card if they truly got relegated).
Aaron just lost the whole plot. Any relegation basically bringing devaluation to 100% since the T&C only mentioned EPL. So if Maybank is that powerful to push it down , they should do it all the way to make this card worse off
Whoosh
Please donโt ever stop writing these types of funny articles! ..plus we need a family followup to the Monopoly Deal adventures!
My favorite article so far HAHA
Aaron, please ignore the commenters who were born without a sense of humour โ I genuinely laughed at this article โ great job!
Excellent article to keep us reading Milelion in these cucumber times! As the card game becomes more and more boring and nerfed at least Aaron is trying to keep it interesting. People who cannot stomach this article or need a disclaimer to understand sarcasm should really not be benefiting from Aaronโs insightful posts and add value to the milechaser game. Keep it going Aaron!
I am not particularly upset with football teams these daysโฆthey are full of multi millionaire footballers that are often over paid and overplayed. Good luck to them.
I, for one, had a good chuckle from this article
donโt find it funny and who cares
article was well written, but i found the self righteous comments more hilarious tbh lol
fk off you wankers!
Hilarious! Also a PSA to all the whingers in the comments section โ steer clear of a little known publication known as The Onion